What people argue about in heaven

At the entrance to heaven, your life is analysed in a very singular manner. All that you were to other people is checked and summed, and all that other people were to you is likewise calculated and determined. One is subtracted from the other, and a score is given. Your score is positive if you meant more to others than they to you, and negative when vice versa. Your number is objective, immutable and eternal. The political discourse of the citizens of heaven consists entirely of incessant debate about whether it is better to have a negative or a positive score. Those very few souls whose balance sheets achieve a perfect score of zero are sent straight to hell.

One response to “What people argue about in heaven

  1. Hmmm. If the debate raged on long enough, people might actually prefer a perfect zero.


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