Cerith Wyn Evans’ joke about Jesus, as told by Jens Hoffmann to the staff of the Institute of Contemporary Arts

Walking around heaven, Jesus passes the pearly gates, where Saint Peter is on duty. Peter’s busting for one and he asks Jesus to watch the gate while he pops off for a while. “But I’ve never done the door before”, says Jesus. “It’s easy”, says Saint Peter, “someone comes up, you just ask them about their life and what they’ve done and then either let them in or not”. Jesus agrees, off goes Saint Peter, and Jesus waits awhile, until an old man with a long beard and white hair comes floating along on a little cloud. He floats up to the gates, and Jesus asks him what he was in his life. “I was a carpenter” he says. “Ah”, says Jesus, “and, er, tell me something important that happened to you.” “Well”, says the old man, “towards the end of my life, someone put nails through the hands of my son.” Jesus looks at the old man and says “Papa….?” The old man looks back, teary-eyed and asks “Pinocchio…??”

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