Fuck the Creative Industries

Fuck them first and foremost for their exclusiveness, for drawing a line between them and you and putting themselves on the creative side of it. Fuck them for saying that what they do counts and what you do doesn’t. Fuck them for the over-inflated notion of their own ‘creativity’.

Fuck them next because what they actually do create is awful. Acres of anxiety-inducing advertising, tedious dadrock and festering beehives of migrainous office blocks. Because it’s cancer before it’s even left the drawing board. Because they treat housing as sculpture, text like pictures and everything they do as an excuse to invite celebrities to a party.

Fuck them then because they really are an industry, an ugly, landscape-scarring, mind-polluting industry, treating talent like a mine and inspiration like dirty fuel. Fuck them again because of the frequency with which they demand subsidy and succour for their industry when they decide it’s an art. An entrepreneur wearing a t-shirt of a band you like is still an entrepreneur. And an entrepreneur is just a small maggot who wants to be a fat maggot.  One day, he’ll grow up to be a fly and shit in your food.

Fuck the creative industries because they promise to bring change, innovation and ‘disruption’ to the table before serving the same old bitter vinegar in impractically-shaped new bottles. People who think that product design ‘shapes the way we live’ should be permanently rehoused on a Midlands sink estate and mugged repeatedly until they develop better theories about the relationship between aesthetics and social formation.

An office with distressed plaster walls is still an office
An office full of folding bicycles is still an office
An office with a ping-pong table, pool table or football table in it is still an office
… and the people working in it are still drones.

Fuck them because they flood our eyes and ears with media like a backed-up sewer. Their whip pans, crash zooms and tedious electronics soundtracks are the vectors of a deadly, suffocating cholera of distraction. Their synchronised escalator adverts are a Nuremberg rally of the imagination.

Fuck their unshakeable faith in the importance of what they do. Talking to a graphic designer shouldn’t feel like talking to a Moonie. And fuck their “communities”, an insect-hive circle-jerk, a babbling repetition of the same meaningless cliches.

Fuck their ant-like colonisation of our intellectual culture. The only idea in the ‘business idea’ is the business of persuading people there’s an idea when there isn’t even a clue. They waste trees like an illegal Amazonian logger and  they waste our time as if it belonged to them: they are the windbags of superficial change.

When they call marketing poetry, they piss all over poetry
When they call conferences playful, they shit on play
They are lipstick on the mouth of a corpse

Fuck them because they think they are life, and they are only life’s dull echo.

4 responses to “Fuck the Creative Industries

  1. Oh no! No, no, SoW – I don’t know you and you sound like you’ve been wounded by an entrepreneur – haven’t we all – but allow me to take this more seriously than was intended and make the case for the entrepreneur.

    “an entrepreneur is just a small maggot who wants to be a fat maggot”

    No. Well sometimes. Look, I’d like my artists and designers living in a state of authentic material insecurity as much as the next person. I watch Charlie Brooker’s Screen Wipes – I know what entrepreneurship can do to a creative. But often an entrepreneur is somebody who thinks they can do something better than their boss, or better than somebody else who is already doing it.

    Take the discipline of Design. Who could make a living as a designer without an entrepreneur or several? Has SoW ever tried being a small business that does everything – production, distribution, publicity, vending, creating, customer services? Without entrepreneurs I wouldn’t have the ingenious things I have which make life so much less fraught or more pleasant. Take my freeplay lamp. You simply can’t do without practically creative, intrepid, systems people – so call a spade a spade – they’re commonly known as entrepreneurs.

    Entrepreneurship can take things in positive directions. Put it like this – entrepreneurs can organise for new ways of redistributing wealth. They might on average be over-self-confident (and they might not), but I’m certain they aren’t all tasteless moneygrubbers.

    If you want to get angry at something – well, where do I start…

    (Two last things: I came to this via Bob; I have no vested interest in sticking up for entrepreneurs – I’m not one and nor are any of my friends.)

  2. Too well said when it applies to old economy style protectionism, but not when its about widening participatory platforms and cultures of expression. Etsy people reinvigorating ‘craft’ as a creative industry for instance…

  3. fleshisgrass: for a self proclaimed non-entrepreneur, you use a lot of buzz words.

    As for the article, while I can’t fault any single point, I’d like to say that being able to have a job in the creative industry is one of my goals, because I can’t think of anything I want to do more than programming games (cliché, but none-the-less) and I can’t think of anything more soul destroying than doing some other job which I’ll probably find boring and un-fulfilling, given that it will probably involve the degree I’m studying (maths), and trying to program games in my spare time. All I notice about people with jobs is that either they have a career, which means no time for themselves, and no energy anyway, or they don’t and they spend all their free time trying to get one so they can eat daily. If it’s that or work under some slave master trying to resell the same tired idea, but at least being able to work my personal (if small) brand of magic on the code, then at least I can derive some satisfaction out of it. Plus I’ll be able to slack off at work by working on my own stuff, and no-one will be able to tell the difference 😀

  4. Pingback: Fuck industries | Everythingturb

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